#1: On the Cusp

I get this strange itch in my soul every once in a while. I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but it doesn't feel very good. It's almost as if it's trying to escape my body, but then my throat tightens up and it's forced to retreat back into its place. But as it doesn't want to be there in the first place, it decides to rebel by doing this awkward contracting thing over and over. I have that feeling right now. This feeling is normally soothed by me writing, but then I start a blog and I only have one entry and then I feel this unearthly pressure to continue, but I know that I don't have the motivation for that and then, well, I just end up feeling like a failure.

Well guess what? I don't give a crap anymore. I'm not going to let this emotionless, inanimate blog have any kind of weirdo cloud over me. If I feel like writing, then I'll write. And if I don't want to tomorrow, well, that's too bad for you.

Now to get onto the actual topic of this blog post. There are two things that I feel are new phases for me that are starting soon:

1. I begin my mission papers this month
2. I start my last semester of school before my mission on Monday

For both of these things all I can think of is: HOLY CRAP. I mean, come on. A mission? Am I crazy? Maybe. But I know that I absolutely have to do this for myself and for whatever people I will be working with. I am so excited! I just have to trust in the Lord to give me the words to say.

And this will be my final semester. I have done seven semesters straight since the Fall of 2008. . . hallelujah for getting a break. I am so freaking done with school I don't even know how to express it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love to learn and I especially love history, but there has been to much learning. I desperately need a break. So, YES! I'm going to get an eighteen month break!

In random news, I got my wisdom teeth pulled on Monday. It was a very interesting experience. . . my dad gave me a ten minute warning, so I didn't even have any time to psych myself out. I went over to the dentist's office, he did all of his x-ray stuff and everything and then he says, "Well, do you want to do this now?" And I was just like, "Whatever I don't want to think about it, just do it." So then he put me on  nitrous oxide, aka LAUGHING GAS. I have never, ever been put on anything like this stuff, EVER. I don't even know how to describe it. All I can say is that I was tripping out. Bad. This guy was freaking pulling out one of my teeth and he had his hand partially on my throat and all I could think was, "Man, I can't really breath. . . I should tell him that. . . nah. . . hahahahhahahahahaha." Everything was all spinny and I thought I went blind.

That was the best part of the whole wisdom teeth pulling experience. Now my face just looks life it got hit by a dump truck.

So, yeah.