Today is yet another day of me laying around in bed. I've had a cold the last couple of days, yesterday was the worst, but I just want to get better so I'm taking it easy today, too.
Yesterday was interesting. While I was sick and had the chills and was unnaturally tired, I had this sense that everything was better than good. I know that my life if extraordinary and I don't appreciate it enough.
I was able to make an account to start on my mission papers yesterday! Man, oh, man. That's what unreal about the whole thing. I don't feel like I should be this old. I feel like I'm still sixteen, minus my terrible anger issues and well everything, I guess. I'm not really anything like I was when I was sixteen. Except for the fact that I'm still Ali. I used to be so scared of everything. Now, I may still be scared of the same things, but I have a continually growing confidence in my abilities.
I've been spending some time thinking about what kind of guy I will end up married to, while I've been sick. Which is stupid, but it happens to girls sometimes. And while I have a pretty firm knowledge of what kind of qualities I'm looking for, I don't see anybody. It could be anybody. Which is scary for me. I'm not gonna lie, I don't like that feeling. I like to know things and to have a plan. A plan for the future. Yes, my immediate plan is set, I'm going on a mission and finishing school. But after that? I have no idea, and that terrifies me.
I know that it's the best for me to not know anything about my future husband. My friends have different options when it comes to guys, but I couldn't work that way. It works for them, but Heavenly Father knows me and knows that I have to be completely in the dark for this issue.
This blog is rambly and not funny, but I don't really care. I love my life, my family, and my friends. What would I do without them? Nobody knows.
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