#3: Writing

People tell me I have a talent. They say it’s an amazing talent, one that I should share with all the world. But when it comes right down too it, I can’t get anything out. When I force myself to write something, I get a B-. And this really sucks because I do love to write, I just can’t do it under pressure. I almost need to have the expectation of knowing that nobody is going to be reading it.

Or at least not having to turn it in to a professor to be thrashed and gutted.

Now I know that I a B- isn’t bad at all. My professor even said that if we got a B it means that we did the assignment right. But I got a B-, which means I didn’t get it as right as the average person in the class. This is disheartening to me. I know that I can write wonderfully when the right place and time come along. Unfortunately, those times never come when I want them to.

Like right now for instance. It’s 12:18 am. I need to be sleeping. Rather, I am sitting here writing, because I feel something.

Perhaps that’s it. Maybe I need to feel something truly to be able to write about it in a pleasing way. I know that when I write a paper for school, I don’t really have any passion behind it. It’s just something I have to do for a grade. So maybe if I try to really get into what my topic is, I’ll have an easier time just letting the words flow.

This has been very therapeutic. I feel much more at ease about this whole thing. Thank goodness.